Teenage Hormones and Violins

Teenagers have them and they talk about them, but they never show them. Boys and girls have relationships, but the couple might not even touch or speak to each other in public. Holding hands is taboo. It reminds me of middle school when girls and boys would "date." The girls would stay in one group, the boys would stay in another group across the hall. One girl would pointg to a boy and say, "That's my boyfriend." She might smile or wave, but that's the end of the relationship. Maybe at a school dance they will stand two feet apart and sway to a slow song. Maybe not. It's all very innocent.

The boys don't know what to do with me. I pass them in the hallway and they call out my name, tell me they love me, give me a wai. They never come more than ten feet closer to me. If I smile at one, the entire group breaks into laughs and the boys jump around and pat each other on the back. It's like watching a bad disney show.

I went and visited other classes yesterday that aren't in an english program. The main question from boys was, "Do you have a boyfriend?" And the girls wanted to know what my school uniform was in Corvallis.

When I say that "No, I don't have a boyfriend." The entire class erupts into an "OOOOOOOOOOH!" And some of the boys point to me and then point to themselves. A few of the girls point out their boyfriends in a "He's mine, keep your blonde hair away from him way."

I'm not interested in anyone here and I can't date with the Rotary rules anyway. It's one of the four D's, didn't you know?

Sometimes, the boys assume that I'm a blonde bimbo and that I don't know any thai. They'll chatter away to a friend of mine abouthow cute I am in thai. I look at them, smile and tell them I understand-- in thai. The jumping, patting on the backs and the "OOOOOIH!"s start all over again.

Once a particularly unnattractive boy at the other school tried to make fun of me as he walked pass. "I no can speak thai" He said in a "girly" voice. I got so angry. I yelled after him. "Mai, Mai Chan dai cow jai laa poot pasa thai!" ( No, No, I can understand and speak thai).
His friends laughed at him and if his skin color would have allowed him to turn red, I'm sure it would have.

Today I went to the other school for a violin class. I don't know how well the teacher plays, but he made a joke in thai about how I should be the teacher. NObody plays violin here. In fact, the ones that do play violin can barely eek out twinkle twinkle. I don't think the teacher knows what to do with me. He asked me what I wanted to learn, scales or exercises or pieces, "Everything" I said with a smile. The entire class erupted into an "OOOOOH" and clapping.

He had me play for him. Which makes sense, he wants to know how well I can play. I drew a crowd. People started pouring into the classroom and staring in awe. Emma was there practicing guitar. When I finished I realized that one boy had been videotaping the entire thing. He videotaped everything, from my introduction to my performance, my scales and playing with the class. The teacher had the sheet music up on the wall with a projector and a green line showed what note we were at the whole time. I just thought what a great tool for learning how to read music. He had me sight read, it was like suzuki book one. Very simple. I didn't make any mistakes. I feel like I play violin so well here and I know that in America I'm not anything special. I'm good yes, not great, not amazing, not pursuing a professional career.
I wish I could have shown this class some of the other violinists in my orchestra in Corvallis, or simply other musicians. They have no concept of a viola or cello.

After I finished playing I was introduced to almost the entire class. Half of them wanted to take a picture with me. A few boys just stared from afar, a few wanted to have a picture with me too. Emma and I both had a free period. We sat in glen and quizzed each other with flash cards of the thai alphabet and ate hemp seeds. A group of kids sitting near us asked us what we were eating. "Seeds" we told them. "Ging dai mai?"(can you eat them?)" (Dai, alloy mak) You can, very delicious. They were so curious and so cautious. Some of the food I eat here would seem exotic to my friends back home, but western food and "hippie feed" is completely foreign here.
In the cantina where we went to get something to eat, a boy came up to us and introduced himself and all of his friends to us. One of them had the nickname Ai (shy). I asked, Are you shy? He blushed and looked at his food. Others were only to excited to have their names mentioned. Um and Jackie particularly. Yes, those are boys and yes, those are their names.

I rode my bike back to my school and was trying to figure out how my kick stand works (they're very different here). The bike kept falling on me as a group of teenage boys watched me and laughed. My face was bright red from the heat and I tried to smile at them but I ended up scowling. They asked me if I wanted help. In my own indignant way, I said,"no, I can do it myself." Just like I've been saying since I was two. I'm probably too self-reliant. I used to hate it when boys asked if they could help me carry my stuff or if they could open the door. "I can handle it." I'd say.

Now, unless the boy is patronizing, I appreciate it. I like having doors opened for me my things carried. I've become a romantic sap. I like being told I'm kind or pretty or a princess.
I'm sitting in the classroom by myself typing this and playing Michelle Shocked, the Campfire tapes, YesMom, yes Madeleine. I took your favorite CD. It's with me across the world playing in a classroom in Thailand. It's funny where your stuff ends up isn't it?
The other students are either at the military training if they are boys and at housework if they are girls. I'm not required to go to housework. And today putting leaves on a needle in a pattern didn't seem appealing (Although I can put fold leaves and put them on a needles in a pattern quite well...It must be my inner housewife)

Later today I will practice for a competition with Ajan Venus (ajan means teacher). I got roped into singing and playing violin. It's okay though, it means that this week I get to go to Khon Kaen and stay in a hotel room with 15 other girls. Slumber party anyone?
We're singing "a better world." I think that's the name of the song.

After school, I'm going to get crepes with emma, probably. It's my host mother's birthday today and I'm not sure if I should buy her a present. I asked my host father and he said that he wasn't buying her anything because he forgot that it was her birthday.

Yesterday was Aom's birthday. Emma and I took her and Pooh out to the fancy western restaurant in town. She didn't know we were paying when we went. Emma and I both got steak. The chef is french, a frenchman that married a thai women who can speak english but no french. Only god knows how they communicate. The steak was decent, actually it was heavenly because I feel like I haven't had steak in years. For thai standards it was expensive, 220 baht. Normally dinner is 40 baht. But in America 220 baht is maybe $5. Emma and I made Aom and pooh stay where they were sitting while we bought a cake and had it cut. We carried it to the table singing happy birthday in english. I think she was touched. Earlier she had told me that her birthday was her first day in American last year and her host family was really amazing and she missed them. So, I think it brought back a lot of memories.
After dinner Emma and I went back to her house and watched 27 dresses. I kept trying to say my comments in thai. Nan cha cheup kee lay. That dress is ugly. but cha cheup isn't dress. I forgot what dress is. I can remember shirt and skirt, pants, socks, shoes, but not dress.

Tomorrowis Aom's birthday party. I also have to cook steak for my host father's breakfast. He asked if I could cook. When I answered yes, he got excited. Maybe I can convince him to get potatoes and butter too so I can make real mashed potatoes.
Emma is going to help me. In Canada she did a three month cooking seminar.
Ajan Venus said she'd teach me how to cook phillipino food too. I'm excited.

I'm still the same old self. I still like to dance in the rain and be a little silly. I like playing sad music on my violin and so far, I haven't gained weight. It'll happen though, unless I can refrain myself from eating comfort food like, pancake and chocolate sandwiches that are highly processed and in a plastic wrapper and chocolate milk from a juice box.

Apart from being asked if I have a boyfriend, if I'm hungry, if I'm homesick, I also get asked how much my stuff cost. Like my violin, they wanted to know how many baht. Since the violin I brought isn't mine and even then, it's a family heirloom of a good friend so I don't know. But my real violin is probably worth over 70,0o0 baht. Too much to say outright.
I feel like the rich american here, but I'm sure that eventually I will get used to it.
Signing off for now,
Sunitsaa Rassamee (my thai name, because they can't pronounce Suzanne Katz)