Friday, May 15, 2009

TIT (this is Thailand)

I've gotten so used to this place that it's my home and most of the time everything seems normal, even my alzheimic host grandmother that likes to roll and fold paper all day long.
In an effort to get out of the lazy funk I've been in I asked around to see if I could join the youth rotary yoga group today. I got a call from Khun Joy ( Readers probably don't remember but she's the one with the really handsome sons that took me and emma to the monk's cave on the mountain). Anyway, Khun Joy said if I came to her house at 4 she would take me to the yoga class. So I rode my bike over to her house.
Once there she told me that she wasn't available to take me to the yoga class and so she told her grandson to take me to P'lek's pharmacy. P' lek is a rotarian in the younger club and the yoga classes were once held at her class. So off I went to see P'lek.
Once there I found out that she was busy because she's leaving for Bangkok this evening so she asked her sister to take me.
Her sister wasn't free so decided that instead of driving me there, she'd drive and I'd follow.
When we finally got to the place it hit me that it would have been so much easier if Joy had said that yoga classes were held at the big white building next to the library.
So p'lek's sister and I asked around and it turns out that there wasn't a yoga class after all. Go figure. TIT (this is thailand).
So I rode my bike back home singing along with korean and thai pop songs by bands like silly fools, hangman, big bang and super junior.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My past life

We drove up winding roads under a dense tree canopy. Up and up we go until through the darkness ahead a golden buddha shines.The car pulls over and we get out. Supraporn explained me that the monk that is not a monk that will teach us meditation has no arms. She motioned to me that they have been cut off. "He's taking a shower. He'll be out soon."

Somewhere in the distance another monk is chanting and the geckos in the trees are braying. What she said about the monk didn't register until he walked out of the darkness towards the light we sat next to. Something was wrong. His right arm shone and hung loose. As he aproached I saw the hook on his left prosthetic arm. A handsome face smiled down at me.

We sat down and more women arrived. He began the introductions and asked me if I was christian. I answered that no, in fact I was jewish. The thai women were curious and the monk began to describe the differences between judaism, christianity, islam, hinduism and buddhism all the while asking short questions from me for confirmation.

He said a missionary had once come to the temple. The missionary had told the story of jesus' ressurrection. The thai people had been confused as to why it was so special. "Mosquitoes die every day and rise again every day. What's so special about that?" The missionary didn't have an answer.

He told the story of Adam and Eve only there was no snake in the tree, and it wasn't knowledge that took away innocence. It was sex. He then asked me if all jews and christians thought sex was a sin. I wasn't sure how to answer.

We begin. Breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. Don't stop. Powerful breaths. Faster, faster faster. The pressure in my chest was so great I thought I would explode. He called me by name "ทราย, faster faster. Don't stop. Don't open your eyes." The women behind me began to wail. It shook me to my core. The wailing got louder and desperate. I became sure they were posessed. "Don't pay attention to them. If something in your body hurts, focus on that. Don't control your body."
I lost track of my limbs. My body went numb and I couldn't feel gravity. In my mind I was floating in darkness. The wailing turned into screams that raised the hair on the back of my neck. I was told again to pay attention only to my own body. Breathe in, out, in, out. Don't stop. Don't slow down. I rocked and swayed and lost sense of time.
The screams began to die down into coos and whimpers. The heavy breathing of us all covered the last sound and suddenly all was quiet. We no longer had to breathe as fast or as deep. "Samleung. Samleung" He said. "Think Samleung only."
My mind was black except for flashes of times I had sat in the forest alone. Silence came inside me and took hold. "Samleung."

It was over. I opened my eyes and looked around. He began to ask each person if they saw anything. They explained to me that this type of meditation is supposed to opena window into our past lives. He said that if I could master this meditation I could end wars and hear people's thoughts.
Supraporn looked at her watch. "Almost 10 pm. We should go." She seemed relieved to be done and as we piled into the car she said that meditation like this scared her.
The full moon gave me a sleepy stare the long drive home.