The day before the rest of my life

It's the day after my birthday. I'm seventeen.
It's also the day after I gave my parting speech in thai to the whole school.
It's the day after my last rotary meeting which got cancelled for a funeral.
It's the day after my normal life in Thailand ended and preperations for going home kicked into high gear.
Today's the day I buy gifts, close my bank account here and run errands.
Today's the day I say goodbye to as many people I can, take any many pictures I can and soak up my life here as much as I can.
Today's laundry day.

It's two days after my karaoke birthday party. It was supposed to be a surprise thrown by emma but my thai friends didn't really get the concept.
It's the week after I came back from the Temple on top of a mountain in Nage. It's the week after I sat and meditated, ate charity food and wore white.

It's the day after the rest of my exchange. The day after I went on trips all over the country. The day after my mother came to visit. It's the day after I got letters from Jakub, Evan, Rosiee, Breanna, Mom, Dad, Madeleine, Grandmom. It's the day after I got postcards from Peter, Rotary, some of my past teachers.

It's the day after I became myself. Today is the day after my transformation. This transformation, this experience. I am not who I was.

I'm not who I was but I am part of who I'll become. I'm calmer, more patient. I meditate when upset. I speak three languages. I can carve fruit into roses and tulips and dance like a thai person.

I've been in the mountains, the valleys and the oceans of this magnificent country and it has changed me.

When I left the U.S. I left searching for answers. I thought that my life was messy and complicated and I wanted a way out. I found that life IS messy. Life is messy, life is difficult but it's the only life we have. I found out who I am regardless of family, regardless of school, regardless of habit.

I threw myself out of the pot and into the frying pan to test myself. I tested my strength and my convictions and I am stronger for it.

I will miss this country. I will this language and I will miss these people. This is my home. This is my second nature.

And so today is the day after all of that. But it is also the day before tomorrow. It's the day before the rest of my life. It's the week before I go back to the U.S. and all I know for sure about my life to come is that I will come back here.

Thank you for everything.