The day before the rest of my life

It's the day after my birthday. I'm seventeen.
It's also the day after I gave my parting speech in thai to the whole school.
It's the day after my last rotary meeting which got cancelled for a funeral.
It's the day after my normal life in Thailand ended and preperations for going home kicked into high gear.
Today's the day I buy gifts, close my bank account here and run errands.
Today's the day I say goodbye to as many people I can, take any many pictures I can and soak up my life here as much as I can.
Today's laundry day.

It's two days after my karaoke birthday party. It was supposed to be a surprise thrown by emma but my thai friends didn't really get the concept.
It's the week after I came back from the Temple on top of a mountain in Nage. It's the week after I sat and meditated, ate charity food and wore white.

It's the day after the rest of my exchange. The day after I went on trips all over the country. The day after my mother came to visit. It's the day after I got letters from Jakub, Evan, Rosiee, Breanna, Mom, Dad, Madeleine, Grandmom. It's the day after I got postcards from Peter, Rotary, some of my past teachers.

It's the day after I became myself. Today is the day after my transformation. This transformation, this experience. I am not who I was.

I'm not who I was but I am part of who I'll become. I'm calmer, more patient. I meditate when upset. I speak three languages. I can carve fruit into roses and tulips and dance like a thai person.

I've been in the mountains, the valleys and the oceans of this magnificent country and it has changed me.

When I left the U.S. I left searching for answers. I thought that my life was messy and complicated and I wanted a way out. I found that life IS messy. Life is messy, life is difficult but it's the only life we have. I found out who I am regardless of family, regardless of school, regardless of habit.

I threw myself out of the pot and into the frying pan to test myself. I tested my strength and my convictions and I am stronger for it.

I will miss this country. I will this language and I will miss these people. This is my home. This is my second nature.

And so today is the day after all of that. But it is also the day before tomorrow. It's the day before the rest of my life. It's the week before I go back to the U.S. and all I know for sure about my life to come is that I will come back here.

Thank you for everything.

TIT (this is Thailand)

I've gotten so used to this place that it's my home and most of the time everything seems normal, even my alzheimic host grandmother that likes to roll and fold paper all day long.
In an effort to get out of the lazy funk I've been in I asked around to see if I could join the youth rotary yoga group today. I got a call from Khun Joy ( Readers probably don't remember but she's the one with the really handsome sons that took me and emma to the monk's cave on the mountain). Anyway, Khun Joy said if I came to her house at 4 she would take me to the yoga class. So I rode my bike over to her house.
Once there she told me that she wasn't available to take me to the yoga class and so she told her grandson to take me to P'lek's pharmacy. P' lek is a rotarian in the younger club and the yoga classes were once held at her class. So off I went to see P'lek.
Once there I found out that she was busy because she's leaving for Bangkok this evening so she asked her sister to take me.
Her sister wasn't free so decided that instead of driving me there, she'd drive and I'd follow.
When we finally got to the place it hit me that it would have been so much easier if Joy had said that yoga classes were held at the big white building next to the library.
So p'lek's sister and I asked around and it turns out that there wasn't a yoga class after all. Go figure. TIT (this is thailand).
So I rode my bike back home singing along with korean and thai pop songs by bands like silly fools, hangman, big bang and super junior.

My past life

We drove up winding roads under a dense tree canopy. Up and up we go until through the darkness ahead a golden buddha shines.The car pulls over and we get out. Supraporn explained me that the monk that is not a monk that will teach us meditation has no arms. She motioned to me that they have been cut off. "He's taking a shower. He'll be out soon."

Somewhere in the distance another monk is chanting and the geckos in the trees are braying. What she said about the monk didn't register until he walked out of the darkness towards the light we sat next to. Something was wrong. His right arm shone and hung loose. As he aproached I saw the hook on his left prosthetic arm. A handsome face smiled down at me.

We sat down and more women arrived. He began the introductions and asked me if I was christian. I answered that no, in fact I was jewish. The thai women were curious and the monk began to describe the differences between judaism, christianity, islam, hinduism and buddhism all the while asking short questions from me for confirmation.

He said a missionary had once come to the temple. The missionary had told the story of jesus' ressurrection. The thai people had been confused as to why it was so special. "Mosquitoes die every day and rise again every day. What's so special about that?" The missionary didn't have an answer.

He told the story of Adam and Eve only there was no snake in the tree, and it wasn't knowledge that took away innocence. It was sex. He then asked me if all jews and christians thought sex was a sin. I wasn't sure how to answer.

We begin. Breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. Don't stop. Powerful breaths. Faster, faster faster. The pressure in my chest was so great I thought I would explode. He called me by name "ทราย, faster faster. Don't stop. Don't open your eyes." The women behind me began to wail. It shook me to my core. The wailing got louder and desperate. I became sure they were posessed. "Don't pay attention to them. If something in your body hurts, focus on that. Don't control your body."
I lost track of my limbs. My body went numb and I couldn't feel gravity. In my mind I was floating in darkness. The wailing turned into screams that raised the hair on the back of my neck. I was told again to pay attention only to my own body. Breathe in, out, in, out. Don't stop. Don't slow down. I rocked and swayed and lost sense of time.
The screams began to die down into coos and whimpers. The heavy breathing of us all covered the last sound and suddenly all was quiet. We no longer had to breathe as fast or as deep. "Samleung. Samleung" He said. "Think Samleung only."
My mind was black except for flashes of times I had sat in the forest alone. Silence came inside me and took hold. "Samleung."

It was over. I opened my eyes and looked around. He began to ask each person if they saw anything. They explained to me that this type of meditation is supposed to opena window into our past lives. He said that if I could master this meditation I could end wars and hear people's thoughts.
Supraporn looked at her watch. "Almost 10 pm. We should go." She seemed relieved to be done and as we piled into the car she said that meditation like this scared her.
The full moon gave me a sleepy stare the long drive home.

Mang

They come up from the river at dusk and fly into the gold dragon lamps lining the block of restaurants. One after another the half moth half worm insects fall to the ground. Hundreds of thousands of white fluttering wings litter the ground like snow, except that this snow is living. breathing and writhing in the last few moments of the dying twilight.
In the morning the dried out corpses line the road in heaps and piles. The stench is unbearable but the clean-up crews come by and sweep them all up before it becomes entirely light.
I'm asked if we have these moths without legs in the U.S. I answer "not in Oregon."

Nerves

Transitions are always difficult. Moving host families was so hard for me emotionally and physically. I don't know how I've accumulated all this stuff. I was told that I would be moving into town. Not so.
I moved into yet another village. After insisting that I need to be near internet access for various reasons after not having constant internet access for months, I am able to spend most nights out of the week in town. The house in the village is interesting. My bedroom ceiling slopes towards the ground and the mice that live above me occasionally poke their noses down the holes they have carved in my bedroom walls and ceiling. The windows are screenless and so I get all kinds of visitors into my abode.
I also have a traditional thai shower aka a large tub filled with water and a large ladle. At night the geckos bray loudly. GE ko GE ko.

My new host father's nickname is Golf. It's a name that seems to be following me everywhere. His nickname is golf because he is obsessed with the sport. He views it as the american dream. Play the sport well and make millions of american dollars. Tiger Woods is his idol. Half african-american and half thai (according to my host dad--I myself am not sure) in thailand, he would be the lowest of the low on the caste system. In the U.S. he's one of the wealthiest celebrities and his name is known worldwide. Golf defies the class structure. My host father is certain that if he can teach me how to play golf well, he will instantly give me a better future.

My host brother Bam is around twenty years old. He's been trying to flirt with me since he met me. Flirting in thailand is on a much subtler scale. It's all about eyebrow raising and conversation. First he'll ask me where I'm from. After "discovering" that I'm from the U.S. HE will want to speak english with me. He'll ask what the difference between the subject and an object is. After I explain he'll feign understanding and promptly give up on trying to speak english with me. I've been through this before.
My last older host brother went through the same phase. He even started carrying around an english thai dictionary. They both eventually realize that I speak much more thai than they speak english and that it is simply easier to speak to me in thai. Then they realize what grade I'm in and that I don't plan on getting married to a thai man and living in a village the rest of my life and the flirting stops.

I moved houses at 10 in the morning. After my suitcases left the car I was promptly introduced to the entire village. Old women all rubbed my arms for good luck. I spent two weeks in the sun and I still have "white" skin.

Another exchange student friend and I have realized why rotary has three host families. At the beginning of each new family, the family is cautious and doesn't yet know our capabilities. I have a strict curfew of 5: 30 pm every night with my new host family and am not allowed to travel anywhere alone. My friend Colette has lived with the same family for the entire year and now that they know her well, she has all the freedom she would have had in the U.S. We joke about the three host family situation is not for better cultural understanding...it's to keep us under control.

Getting down to business

I have ten weeks left in my exchange. So instead of dwelling on how much I don't want to go home/ how much I'll be excited to see some of my old friends/I don't want to forget this experience and all those other mixed up feelings, I'll be spending the last few bits describing objects and everyday life here, right now.

Today is laundry day. I don't have an automatic laundry machine and I don't have an automatic dryer. I have a broken down laundry machine that spins my clothes, two metal basins, a machine to spin the water out of my clothes (think giant salad spinner) and a drying rack. The drying rack is a large metal frame with chipped sky blue paint.

It's incredibly hot today. The heat and humidity make me lazy. I don't feel like doing anything other than lying down in a large pool of cool water. The closest pool is an hour drive away.

I spent the last month traveling in the south of Thailand. I camped on a remote island and stayed in hotels in Phuket (pronounced poo ket, NOT fuckit). I saw islands where james bond movies were filmed and others that simply stayed anonymous.

I am tired, so tired of traveling.

My mother came to visit. I'm glad that she was able to see how I live and eat what I eat. I thought I was going easy on her. I didn't make her eat anything too spicy or too strange in my opinion. There was so fermented fish or dried and roasted squid. Turns out maybe I had been pushing Thailand on her more than I realized. I made her walk across town in 90* weather and thought nothing of it. It didn't even occur to me that she wasn't used to the heat.

The skin on my back is peeling. In the south, the sun is so strong. I burned the first day beach bumming. I wore sunscreen and covered my shoulders. It didn't make a difference. I was in such pain that night, I could barely sleep.

In Phuket I went into Jim Thompson's shop. Jim Thompson was the man that capitalized on the thai silk industry first. His silk is considered by some, to be the best quality in the world ( I know others that think differently). The shop was poisonous. It made me want so many things. Hankercheifs for $15 dollars and $70 silk and cashmere shawls. Purses and bedspreads. I am materialistic.

My laundry is done spinning. I have to attend to it.
Will write soon,
ทราย

hmmmm.

I wish I knew what to write. I've had so many experiences in the past few weeks that it's overwhelming. Everything from a rotary district conference to being set up on a date with a "tom" (butch lesbian)--honestly, I had no idea what was going on.
My mom is arriving tomorrow night and she'll be here for ten days. As soon as she leaves I'm off to Phuket and after that who knows.
I found out my return date and will start summer school four days after I get back to the U.S.
My friend back stateside finally got my package of asian goodies, namely snacks and clothing items. I hope she likes it.
I have a ton of crazy stories, but I won't put them online. They are my own to keep.
Will write in a month. I'm off to the beach.

Strange happenings

Sometimes the best moments come when you least expect them. At the moment, there's lots of confusion as to when and where I'll be moving. I'll be moving to host family number three. My days seem endless and my thai friends are all occuppied studying for finals that continue week after week. School ends next week for them. As soon as testing started, I was told I didn't need to go to school.

I spend my days wandering around the town. I walk from one side of town, to the other, back to the first side. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted, redfaced from the heat and my hair is in a state of curling and uncurling sweaty frenzy.

It sounds so silly, but going to a hair salon can make my day. Sometimes I'll pay for it to get washed and blow dried and straightened simply to have something to do. For $1.50 it's not bad entertainment and I always come out feeling better. The women always tell you you're pretty and the airconditioning is a nice perk.

The highpoint of today was dancing with taiwanese and thai people during a rotary party. The chinese karaoke sung by twenty women all wearing pink made me wish I hadn't broken my camera.

Only fifteen minutes ago, one of the young men from bahrain studying at the aviation school handed me a pomegranate juice. I have no idea why. I answered automatically in thai with a kob khun ka.

I don't think I've mentioned these boys before. They're all in their mid to late twenties. They stay at the 4 star hotel every night and they play tennis on Tuesdays. Sometimes they'll run through the lobby of the hotel kicking a soccer ball ( to the dismay of the heavily make-uped receptionists). They've seen me around town for months and still haven't gotten used to me.

The Village Songteaw

A Songteaw is the equivalent of a bus. It's made from a truck with a metal cage and some very rudimentary bench seats placed inside. Nakhon Phanom is too small to have songteaws within the city, but if one is coming from out of town, there are songteaws all the time.
I've said before that I live in a village. If I want to go into town, I walk to the edge of the village and wait alongside the highway for a Songteaw. They come at different times and all time. There's no schedule.
I love taking the songteaw into town. Jostled and bumped against twenty other people, I can sit and view the countryside or talk to a grandmother with black teeth. A little boy might try and share his corn on the cob with me or simply stare at me with open-mouthed awe. I'm the only white person in the truck and probably the first white person he's ever seen.
Sometimes the matrons on the ride with talk about me assuming that I can't understand them, but mostly they just accept me as an anomaly and continue their lives.
It's nice not to be commented upon.

Tradition and Ritual

Today is the third day of the full moon of the third month. That is, according to my host father. It's therefore Buddha's birthday.

.....I had a whole artistic post with philisophical insights included but somewhere between the crazy man and the handsome laughing monk with a gangster tattoo I lost it. So in my loss of words, please permit me to use fragments.

Three walks around the village temple grounds, three wishes at the steps of a wat during reconstruction. Orion scorching the sky with sparse clouds and a full moon. The continual chant of the villagers. Children carrying their flowers, incense and candles with shrieks of delight as the wind continues to blow the flame out. The smell of the incense filling the air.

Life felt so full of promise.

Conversation

Characters:
me- Suzanne, the author of this blog
Ping-Pong- Suzanne's older host brother

Angels:
PingPong: Suzanne, have you ever seen an angel?
Suzanne: No, have you?
PingPong: Yes...Everyday...but holidays
Suzanne: Where do you see the angel?
PingPong: At school
Suzanne: Is she pretty?
PingPong: I'm not telling. (smiles and walks off)

Music:
Characters:
Suzanne-myself
Bong-Suzanne's host brother

Bong: What are you doing?
Suzanne: Writing e-mails to my friends in the U.S.
Bong: Any boyfriends?
Suzanne: Nope
Bong: Are any of your friends drummers?
Suzanne: A few
Bong: Are they any good?
Suzanne: I don't really know.
----some youtube videos later---
Bong: They're like professionals. Much better than me.
Suzanne: I don't really know. I don't play the drums.
Bong: The lead singer, do girls think he's handsome?
Suzanne: Some girls
Bong: Do you want to see some videos of my band?
Suzanne: Okay, who's in your band?
Bong: friends.... Do you see? There's me. Aren't I handsome?
Suzanne: Yes. yes you are.
Bong: Do you like japanese boys?
Suzanne: I don't really know
Bong: Girls like the guitar player in my band. He's japanese.


Recently, there hasn't been much happening. I got a package from a very good friend of mine. It almsot made me cry with joy. Not many people know me like she does. Inside there was Zhena's Gypsy Tea, two dark chocolate candybars, some candy, burt's bees lip balm and a card. Each piece was wrapped in Christmas paper, taped to another section and then wrapped again in Tissue paper. There was so much tape that I couldn't open some of the present without ripping the paper. Also enclosed were some CDs. I love her taste in music. Throughout my exchange, every two months or so I get another mix of music in the mail along with an 8 page letter. The Cd's make up my exchange soundtrack.

Last weekend, a boy from South Carolina came and visited me and Emma in Nakhon Phanom. We took him to the crepe shops, the ice-cream shops. He asked me if I wanted to visit him in the U.S. I have no desire whatsoever to go to the south. It's just that the Pacific Northwest is like utopia. It's calm, cool, collected. There's the ocean, the mountains and the desert. Everything is there. Why leave? Sure I know that I want to travel and live in other countries, but I know I'll always go back to the northwest. It doesn't get much better.

The Ghost Doctor

In Thailand, ghosts are real. They can haunt you. They can come inside you and possess you and destroy you. That's why, there's the ghost doctor.My grandmother until last weekend, was possessed. A ghost inside of her had caused horrible dreams and pain in her back and stomach. She couldn't eat solid food.I came home one day to find a woman with my grandmother. She was blessing an amulet. The amulet was to be kept inside the gloves that my grandmother wears when she sleeps so that the power of buddha would protect her from the demon inside.Two days later, it had reached a critical stage. An intervention was needed.My grandmother went to the Ghost Doctor and was exorcised.The old women in the village held a Bai See Su Kuan ceremony. Monks chanted and the villagers hollered.White strings were tied around my grandmother's wrists and neck.One day later and she's back to normal.Once again she can eat regular rice and sleep well. She still sleeps with the amulet and she won't cut off the white strings.I never thought that I would be able to say that I live with an exorcised woman. But then again, I'm not in kansas anymore.

A visiting friend

I live in the boons. I live in a village where people don't even speak thai. I live in a village where the main restaurant is a noodleshop on the side of the highway and cows and chickens run where they please. I couldn't be happier. Last weekend, I had another exchange student friend come visit me. She's from the United States and lives in Udon Thani, 200 kilometers away. In the U.S. that would be about and hour and a half drive. In thailand, it takes 5 hours by bus. Thai buses stop in every single village. It's the milktruck (not literally).
She arrived at about 1 pm. My host family was shocked to see that she wasn't blond and tall like me. She's short and asian. "Same as thai!" They said excitedly. Every person we met and saw that weekend had to be told that my friend was actually japanese but that she moved to america. Colette (my friend) and I had the hardest time explaining that in the U.S. we have people from every country in the world. It doesn't make them less american. She's a fifth generation american, same as me. It just happens that every person in her family has been of japanese descent.

We click. We didn't drive into town once the entire weekend. My host brother, Colette and I traveled around the village on bicycles. We went to the school, the noodle shop, discovered the bubble tea shack, the crepe shop and the area in the market with punk 20 year olds making waffles over coals in a teracotta pot. I've never had so much fun in my village. Colette and I introduced my brother to The Princess Bride. He understands a little bit of english and the title seemed a little to girly for his tastes. This from the boy collecting cartoon robocat stickers from seven-eleven. WE convinced him to watch it with us with thai subtitles. He's now repeating, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

Before my host father would let her visit, he wanted to know, "does she have a good heart?"
"Very good." I replied.
The whole family smiled.
"Suzanne has the best heart though."

Plans.

School ends for me at the end of next month. I'll have summer break for three months. Next month is pretty much finals and celebrations. The entire population of girls is going on a girlscout campout and we are all chipping in to pay for that right now. The month after will be extremely busy for me. My mother is coming to visit me. I'm looking at hotels in Bangkok right now. Unfortunately, her arrival times are pretty bad for me. Unless my host family is okay with coming down to bangkok, a ten hour drive, to meet her with me at one in the morning....I'm going to have to arrange for a tour company owned by friends of friends to meet her at the airport. I also need to have her budget so that I can reserve a bungalow on an island and figure out where we can go and things we can see. She hasn't returned my e-mails in awhile, so I'm thinking public humiliation is my secret tool. Oh yes, my passive aggressive side is returning. Anyway, I need to know a little bit more so that I can make a plan. I'm big on plans, and lists, always have been. I think it's a family thing. My dad and sister both make lists all the time. We like to prioritze, what can I say?
So, my mother should call me, so I can ask her some questions. After she comes to visit, I am going directly on a trip with rotary. I'm going to PHUKET!! I even get to go to Ko phi phi where The Beach was filmed. If Bob Macdonald is reading, I will see the waterfall. I am actually going to that island.
After ALL of that is done, I'll be switching host families. My current host family wants me to stay with them. Tonight at dinner, my host dad looked at my shirt and asked if I wanted to get it changed. Let me explain, every student has their name and grade level embroidered on their uniform shirt. Currently, my shirt has the name my first host family gave me with their surname. My host father wants to change it. When asked why, he said, "because she's my child."
Almost.
It's nice to know I'm loved.

And so it goes...

And so it goes, that sometimes, we have to stop pretending. We have to stop pretending if we're happy or if we're sad. We have to stop pretending if we're bad or if we're good. If we're smart or stupid. We have to stop pretending that we have anything in common and accept our differences. Sometimes, I have to stop pretending that I'm not afraid to stop pretending. We all hide behind our masks of somekind, be it religion or sacrifice, be it drugs or clothes, we all wear our masks. Being in Thailand, has been like peeling away mask after mask until I'm bare. I feel fresh and rejuvenated. I feel finally myself. Yet, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that when I leave this country, those masks will reappear. I fear that what was known about me before this wonderful experience will haunt me. That those thoughts and images will follow me when I return.

We all change as we get older. I find myself metamorphasizing. I have to say, I like this new self.

Next year, I will return to Corvallis. Situations have changed. My two younger siblings will be older and taller. My three year old sister will be using "acceptable" in her vocabulary. My dad, of all people, has gotten a dog. I'll be able to use the car and I have a job waiting for me at the lab where I once worked. Many of my good friends will have left for college and many of them will have stayed behind. Corvallis is Pleasantville after all, few ever leave.
I still have six months here, but I feel that time is slipping by me and that it's of the utmost importance that I try and make things as comfortable for me as possible in my hometown before I return. Rotary once told me, that coming back will be the hardest part of my exchange. I have no doubt about that.

P.S. First thing I want to eat...probably a burrito from La Roca. I'll leave my dad in charge of that.

The L word.

If I haven't mentioned before, part of the Rotary Youth Exchange is that each student has at least two host families. I have three. Currently, I am staying with my second family. They are incredibly kind and adore me. I love staying with them and I go to bed smiling almost every night.
This week, my host mother and host grandmother are in Bangkok visiting family and the hospital. I was orginally going to go with them but plans changed. I spent the weekend inKhon kaen for a friend's birthday and then I came right back to Nakhon Phanom.
I'm staying with my host dad and brother and with any other family, it would be a little uncomfortable. It isn't with them. We laugh so much.
Last night, we were in the car and my host father asked me if I really had to change host families. I said I wasn't sure and would need to talk to Rotary. The rest of the night, he and my host brother continued to talk about me staying with them until I left for the U.S.
If I hadn't already met my third host family, I'm sure I would have said yes. I met my third hsot family a few months ago and they are all so excited to host me. I'll have two younger sisters and a little brother. My third host mother is knitting me a sweater and every time I see her, she insists on sending me home with food, bags and bags of food.
I told my host second host father that I would switch to my thrid host family in april, but if I didn't like it, I would move back in with them. I never thought I'd have my host family get so attached to me. I wanted them to, but I never thought it possible. My host parents say they love me. It's weird to think that someday I'll have to leave them and I don't know if I'll ever see them again.

Before I go

So I'll be traveling, yet again. Early tomorrow morning I'm getting on a bus and leaving for Khon Kaen. My canadian friend there has a birthday and I'll get to see a few of my other good friends on exchange.

There's an exercise park near my school and the past few days I've been walking around it with my host dad. The other day he taught me all the rude words for foreigners. I know the word for chinese, arab, european, indian and african. Have I mentioned that skin color matters a lot in this country? It made me laugh a little to myself because of how he said them.
He saw an arab man and started talking to himself under his breath. That's when he started to teach me all the words.
I'm pretty sure they're not words I'd say in polite company. Last night, after we finished our walk, we picked up my host brother for dinner. My brother has been sick for awhile, mainly because of a fish bone he got stuck in his throat. The medicine the doctors gave him makes him sleepy. We went to dinner and after dinner Emma and I went to a rotary meeting.

When we got to the hotel, we were fifteen minutes late and the first people there. The bellhop opened up the room for us and gave us some water. After about five minutes, a man came in, asked us if we could speak thai and then told us the meeting had been cancelled.

This happens all the time. We show up for the meetings and nobody is there. Instead of calling my host father back to pick us up, we went to get some DEEP FRIED ICE CREAM in the hotel restaurant. It's horrible for you but amazing. Our Rotary counselor was there and he insisted on paying for us. And that was our night. Exciting, I know.

My village

Population: 10,000
It sounds like a lot for a village but you're wrong. My village is small. It's country, it's quiet. The houses are squished together, similar to thai lifestyle. Farmers, teachers, motorcycle repairmen, they all live here. In Thailand, one's little plot of land can be miles away from one's house. It's different from the U.S. or most other places in the West.
We like our space. Westerners do. If we farm, we surround ourselves with solitude. Farmers are often like hermits.
In Thailand, the thought of being so alone is utterly foreign. Thai people ride their motorcycles and bicycles and tractors for miles and miles away from their house to get to their farms. They all clump together in a village.

And so, the houses sit a meter apart. Ramshackles houses, teak lofts, each the same an each different. My house sits back from the rest. Down a long windy road past the half acre banana farm and the community cow grazing feild. It's roof is red.
I love my house.
I have my own bedroom and feel incredibly spoiled. My grandmother and brother sleep in the living room.
We all sleep on mats.
Cooking is done in the back shed. It's also where I wash my clothes by hand in buckets and where my grandmother chews her betel wood. She doesn't chew it very often, neither her gums nor her teeth are black.

I used to think I couldn't live without music. Now, music is rare and normally for special occasions. The silence has become comforting. Mainly, because it isn't silence at all. I finally stopped to listen to my surroundings.
I can hear children playing in the village elementary school next door. There are birds in the coconut trees and wind makes the leaves of the banana stalks whistle.

The house is set up just so. In the morning light fills the living room and enters the kitchen. In the evening the setting sun shines right inside the kitchen. It's taste lingering long after it has set.

I sleep with my window open. It's a habit I brought from the U.S. The fresh air does me good and the sounds of the night help me go to sleep. There's a schedule. Crickets and frogs are in the early evening and I hope to be asleep before the dogs begin their howling at two or three am.

It's strange how westernization works in different ways. I read once about madatory workouts during the day in Japan led by the radio. In thailand it's slightly less mechanized.

Every morning a truck drives through the town blasting orders and jokes out of loudspeakers for an hour. Six am sharp and the whole town is awake.
"Children, tell your parents. It's time to get up now. Wake up wake up. Eat breakfast. Eat breakfast!What are you going to have today? rice? Chinese donuts? Eat healthy! Don't forget! Go now! Go eat!"

Thai is the second language of most people here. They understand it but the older people have forgotten how to speak it. They speak Puthai. It's an indigenous language found only in this province. They speak it in Ban Klang (my village) and in Renu Nakhon another small town nearby.

I've picked up a few phrases but I'm sticking to my guns. I'm learning thai. I'm learning more than I did in my last host family but it's still difficult when your family doesn't speak it with each other.

It'd be the same as being an exchange student to the U.S. and your host family speaks spanish at home but english to you.It's only a little confusing.

het peu? (what are you doing? in puthai)

SMILE!! you just read my blog and you're on hidden camera. Cheers!